Hippo V-D Two Ewes

Yeah, okay, that doesn't work.

Anyone else tired of Valentine's Day already? I've been at work half a day so far, and there's been two women here who've received flowers. M'kay. Walking through the pedway, I saw about two dozen messengers wandering with floral arrangements and obvious V-Day deliveries.

This is a holiday men get screwed on, 9 times out of 10.

I guess the typical male ignores his girlfriend most of the time, spends more time watching football than with her, and doesn't have the word "romantic" in his vocabulary. So, on those occasions (tally these up, gents): Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, birthday, Christmas, anniversary, and (depending) Mother's Day- he's got to be Extra Special Uber-Romance Man.

Because he's a fucking dolt the rest of the year.
Women, it's expected, are to get their guy something for birthday and Christmas. Okay, that's equitable. Let's add anniversary to that, because that should be important. And I'll even drop Father's Day into that.

But Valentine's Day? Sweetest Day? Please. You see no commercials about what to get your guy for V-Day. Not a one.

This holiday is such a waste of energy. When I'm in a relationship, if I see something I know my girlfriend would enjoy, I get it for her. Just because. It has nothing to do with a holiday (though I do give pretty sweet-ass birthday/Christmas presents). The last time I actually traded Valentine's Day gifts with someone, it was (ironically enough) a week after she'd broken up with me (for asking her to be my "official" girlfriend, no less). The gifts? From me, Gremlins 1 and 2 (she absolutely loves those movies, and despised V-Day). And for me, a graphic novel by Neil Gaiman (who we both enjoyed).

Maybe it's that I rarely have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. The last time was about three years ago, and last Valentine's Day, I'd only recently broken up with my girlfriend at the time.

Who knows. I still think men get screwed on this holiday, but it might be because, by and large, we're idiots to women.

Be nice to the women in your lives, gentlemen! Make it easier on the rest of us, so we can end this destructive conflict and bring order... wait.

So when we say V-Day, all future generations will think of is WWII.

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Edited to add:

I take it back!
I received a mini-Twizzlers Pull n' Peel from a coworker. A woman. It all balances out.
That's all we ask for. A simple Pull n' Peel:



Thank you.